


Missing You

by chrisovens



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Dominant Kylo Ren, Emperor Kylo Ren, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Luke Skywalker, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Light Dom/sub, Mentioned Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, POV Finn (Star Wars), POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), POV Rose Tico, Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-TLJ, Pre-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Romance, Smut, Submissive Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-01-23 05:14:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18542992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrisovens/pseuds/chrisovens
Summary: The Force bond has ended, but they both long for each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cut off from the Force bond, Rey and Ben yearn for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For returning readers: Don't freak out, the old Chapter 2 has been combined with the original Chapter 1 to make Chapter 1 longer.

The Millennium Falcon shuddered wildly through hyperspace, leading Rey to wonder yet again how that bucket of bolts could still fly. The small freighter held the entire Resistance, everyone packed ass to elbows. It was making sleep very difficult. Stars knows she needed it. Those Jedi books had been painful to decipher and were vaguer than Master Luke. Something Living Force, something Cosmic Force, something balance, something peace, yada yada yada. It was all stuff she felt she knew already, which was either a sign that she was an adept Jedi already, or a sign that there was no more satisfying and complete answer than she already possessed. And that possibility terrified her.

Let alone that she was having to have C-3PO decipher the books – krif that droid could talk – she also had to have Poe looking on, chiming in with Jedi knowledge he certainly didn’t have. Supposedly Poe had matured admirably in the last 24 hours or so. Rey could only wonder how cocky he was before.

She looked over at Finn, who’d fallen asleep next to a still-unconscious Rose. Finn seemed to enter another world when he spoke of her, Rey was curious to meet this brave girl she’d heard so much about.

The Force bond, whatever exactly it was between her and Ben, had ended.

She could feel its absence, his absence. It felt like she'd discovered an emptiness she didn't know was there until he filled it. She felt herself return to the loneliness she'd grown so accustomed to all those nights of waiting on Jakku. And now, she felt, would be the worst wait of all.

What exactly was between her and Ben? She could never seem to pin it down exactly. There were moments between chaos and animosity where she felt this incredible, indescribable sensation in the depths of her soul. It felt like a mighty pull, and she lost complete control of herself in those moments. Moments of perfect harmony, perfect balance.

His words still echoed in her ear, _“You're not alone"_ , in that gruff whisper of his. The words she'd ached to hear her whole life. She never imagined hearing them from him. And now she couldn't stop. Where was that berating inner voice now? Long gone, evidently. Whenever Ben took her focus that self-punishing voice got awful quiet. It was only as Ben left her focus that it came back in full-force-- _stupid. How could you think like that? Even for a moment, how could you believe that_.... _“Say it,”_ those devastating words of his echoed in her ears again, and once again they broke her heart.

_That he liked me._

 

***

 

He felt totally incomplete without her. Where she had patched the scars that filled his lonely mind were now re-opened gashes, splintering like shattered glass. It was so loud inside his head, his greatest weaknesses screamed at him; _you’re no Vader. Weak. Foolish. So like your father, young Solo. Kid. Just a child in a mask. I failed you, Ben._

Ben grunted and turned in his bed. “Please.” he whispered with a vulnerable softness. He closed his eyes and concentrated, picturing a dull, low ringing noise that quietened his screaming mind for a brief moment. He felt himself; right here, right now, in this moment of space-time. He felt his connection to the universe, to the stars zooming around him, to the planets, to the people on those planets, to every living thing. He felt the Force moving through him, guiding his every moment.

“Please,” He whispered it again, now adding: “I need her.”

His connection to the Force went quiet. The low-ringing stopped.

Ben saw darkness. He saw nothing. An endless, unnatural nothing that consumed all existence before him. Everything at once blinked into an infinite void that was unfathomable in its enormity and utter nothingness.

The message was clear to him: The Whills obeyed the demands of no one being, only the will of the Force. The ever-changing paths of fate, written in the stars between stars, will bend only to the one who lets themselves become an unquestioning vessel of the Cosmic Force among the realm of the living.

And then the nothing split, and split again, and again; tiny fractals cracking all over the nothing, and the voices of Kylo’s failings echoed through once again, buzzing through the nothing, shredding through balance, through peace, through the core of Ben’s soul. It crackled from his heart and passed through his body, ending at his fingertips with a sharp fizz of lightning. A small jolt of unfamiliar power shivered through him.

He concentrated on that awful sizzling sensation of unbalance and chaos and rage and fear and… krkzzzkraakzzzzz – Lightning fizzled in his palm, slowly twisting and bursting with a cool blue hue, spitting out at bits of dust with a prickly randomness to its electric dance. He closed his palm into a fist and the lightning buzzed out.

He had become so powerful, yet still felt so weak. His mind screamed, and Ben suffered quietly. Alone.

As he always had. And believed he always would.

 

***

 

“You’re sure he was dead?” Leia asked, somewhat sternly.

Rey nodded, continuing, “He was definitely dead.”

Leia looked at the ground, nodding softly. “Then Ben’s now the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Thank you, Rey.”

It hadn't quite fully hit Rey that Ben was the Supreme Leader, and having it spelled out for her so plainly was giving her some strange cognitive dissonance. Her mind's trail wandered back to the conversation at hand after a short beat. “No problem. I’m… I’m sorry.”

Leia looked up at Rey and forced a sly smile, “Don’t you go apologizing for things you didn’t do.”

Rey nodded, “Yes ma’am.”

Leia added, “I’ll be alright, I’ve lasted this long.”

Rey smiled and wandered back to where she had been sitting. She felt awful for Leia; this poor woman had gone through too much pain for one lifetime. Rey had heard stories of the war, how Leia had lost her home planet to the terrors of the Empire, how her boyfriend (and later, husband) had been frozen in carbonite right in front of her by the horrible Darth Vader, not knowing if he’d survive the freezing process, how she’d learned that Vader was her father.

Her political career had then been permanently stained by the sins of a father she barely knew, forcing her to operate in secret. Her only son had turned to the dark side – resulting in Leia’s brother exiling himself – murdered his own father and had now indirectly caused the death of Leia’s brother, who she only got the barest chance to say goodbye to. Leia’s life was plagued by war and senseless loss, it was a miracle of character that she’d remained so stubbornly sharp-witted.

“Finn!” Rose woke up sharply, her abrupt panic cutting through the silent air of the Millennium Falcon. Finn awoke next to her, held her hand softly. “I’m right here. I’m alright. You saved me, remember?” She looked at him and immediately memories of Crait flooded back to her, giving her a new flurry of panic – _I saved him. I kissed him. I kissed him! Ah!_ “Finn! You’re okay!” She smiled brightly and wrapped her arms around him.

 “Rose, meet Rey.” Finn wriggled out of her enthusiastic embrace and gestured up to– _My stars, she’s gorgeous._

“Rey! _The_ Rey! I’ve heard a lot about you!”

The pale girl smiled warmly, “Not as much as I’ve heard about you, I’m sure.”

Rey’s remark landed strangely in Rose’s mind – it seemed that Finn couldn’t keep himself from giddily going on about how wonderful his new friends were. Rose wasn’t yet sure how she felt about Rey. Or, rather, how Finn felt about Rey. Her feelings weren’t spiteful enough to be jealousy, petty grudges were never something Rose could seem to hold on to. But it nagged at her, just enough. And it gratified a small part of her that she was trying to suppress to hear that Finn had done the same thing to Rey about her. Maybe she had a greater potential for pettiness than she wanted to admit. Rey’s presence was so warm and gentle though, Rose was immediately struck with guilt that she had entertained such ugly thoughts.

She shook her head, as though shaking away the tangent her mind had taken her on and looked into Rey’s sweet, brown eyes. “So, is it true?!”

Rey seemed confused, “Is what true?”

“Y’know, that you’re a…” Rose excitedly mimicked the noise of a lightsaber and mimed waving one around, “A Jedi!”

Rey smiled, “I suppose so. In training still.”

Finn cut in, “She’s being modest, you should’ve seen her before! We were all trapped in a cave by these huge rocks, and then all of a sudden they just floated away and Rey’s standing there, like this—” he held out his hand as though using the Force. Rey giggled at the impression.

It was clear now, seeing them together, these two are friends and no more. Looking at Finn, she adored his excitement; it filled her with happiness to see his enthusiasm torn between her and Rey. The small amount of jealousy residing in Rose’s subconscious melted away. She went to move her body closer to Finn’s so that she could playfully kiss his cheek, but her body was still weak, and she fell back to lying down again.

Finn looked at her with sudden concern, “Are you okay? Do you want me to get a med droid?”

Rose smiled, “I’m okay, don’t worry. Probably just need something to eat,” she fought a tough threshold of shyness to play bold, “I just wanted to kiss you again.” She wasn’t sure how proud she was that she’d managed to say that. “ _Wow_ , that was super cheesy. I’m sorry.” She apologized instinctually and filled with shame. She wished she had the strength to move so that she could run and hide.

Then he kissed her, and everything was okay. It was short, but sweet. More a gesture of acknowledgement than a proper kiss, but it would do for now. It was his way of saying _‘hey, things are cool with us.’_ Their lips parted and he looked into her eyes. His soft voice quickly put her at ease, “It’s alright, I got you. Whatever you need.”

 _Oh, I’ll tell you what I need flyboy_. She shook that thought-tangent away too. _Can Jedi read minds? Stars, I hope not_. She looked at Rey and tried to decipher whether or not Rey was reading her thoughts. _Inconclusive_.

The Falcon started beeping in two alternating tones, signalling the end of the hyperspace course. Chewie gargled in Shyriiwook, “< _Here it is_.>”

“Where are we going?” Rose asked anyone who would answer.

Rey answered comfortingly, “Somewhere safe, for now.”

 

***

A blood red sky lit up an ashen ground and the sparse, bare trees that stood in it. Ben stood alone in the charred forest, his raven hair rustling in the humid wind. _There has been an awakening_. Old words whispered through the field of empty trees. _Strike me down and your journey will be complete; fulfil your destiny!_ As Ben stepped forward, green grass pushed up from the grey forest floor, overtaking the snow-like ash. Before his eyes, the forest was transformed into a lush, beautiful place of life and wonder. He knew this place.

A distance ahead, he saw Rey cowering behind a mossy rock; blaster drawn. The blaster of his father. BZzzraw! – He looked down and saw that his lightsaber was crackling in his hand, and he noticed that his vision was obscured by his old mask. She looked at him and he felt her words cut through him – _You’re a monster_! – her lips unmoving other than a quiver of fear at the sight of him.

She fired the blaster, but he deflected the bolt with his saber, stomping towards her and raising the blade to strike. As the saber passed in front of his eyes, the forest returned to its red and ashen state. Rey stood in front of him, his grandfather’s saber drawn. She wore a white hood, and a leather armband covered her scar. There was a hateful fire in her eyes. More words of hers echoed towards him – _Please don’t go this way…_

He paused his stride. Lowered his saber. Rage sizzled through him, but it passed like a fleeting shadow. He deactivated the saber, his surroundings faded to an empty black. Behind him, an unfamiliar cackle filled the air. Old, raspy, and something truly wicked. Ben turned to see the source of the laugh but was pulled from his dream into wakefulness.

He was sweating, his chest pounding. In his dream, for a moment, he felt a flicker of a presence that he had known his whole life but never been able to identify. It felt as though it was some dormant part of him, some separate entity that had latched onto Ben’s soul and been feeding off him.

And now, whatever it was, it felt truly, bone-chillingly awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose is really fun to write for, and I think there's some room for some really interesting stuff with her character between TLJ and TRoS. Rose feeling insecure/inadequate compared to "the Rey" was an interesting dynamic to play with, and even though it may seem resolved rather quickly here there is still something unresolved there, as there often is when we try to get over heavy, complicated stuff a bit too quickly.
> 
> Also, Ben will be given a bit more to do in future chapters. He's a bit difficult to operate on his own in this part of the timeline because the temptation is to do something with the Knights of Ren or Hux, but I suspect that anything major there will be covered by TRoS and I don't want to overstep my canonical wiggle-room. But yeah, I reckon he's got some cool stuff coming.
> 
> The over-arching goal for this fic is to create a satisfying bridge between VIII and IX, with some artistic license taken when it comes to the eventual straying into adult territory. Cool? Cool.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey, Poe, Finn, and Rose all soak in a warm rock-pool.
> 
> Meanwhile, Ben feels uneasy in his new role.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning! We did it! We reached the smut!

The planet Septril V was mostly shallow ocean and rockpools, with some small sandy beaches. It would be a lovely vacation spot if not for the temperamental weather. Particularly adventurous tourists and travel journalists joked that the ‘V’ stood for ‘five seasons in one day!’. When the Falcon landed it was hailing, which Rey was very excited by until she’d stood out in it for more than a few seconds. Finn and Poe were laughing watching her run out into the hail and had just about fallen over watching her run straight back into the Falcon shivering. “I don’t like it here.” She chattered at them bitterly.

However, a few hours later, the storm had cleared, and the weather was nice enough to venture outside the Falcon. Rose – having now been properly filled in about everything that happened on Crait – had already regained some strength and was able to walk unassisted along the rockpools. Rose, Finn, Poe, and Rey all ventured out as a group. Poe had invited Leia too, but she had laughed and made some sharp comment about her gold bikini being a bit too snug nowadays.

Poe pointed into a larger pool among the rough rocks, “There, you see that?” Rey looked at the pattern he was pointing to on the wall of the pool. “Zartan Quartz. Not very valuable, but very pretty.” Rey could see what he was talking about; some colourful crystal chunks that had a red and blue marbled pattern on them, jutting out of the otherwise smooth wall. Flecks of purple twinkled underneath the blue, and flecks of pink twinkled under the red. As much as she hated giving Poe any credit, it was very pretty, and like nothing she’d ever seen before.

“This spot seems good for a soak!” Poe declared and there was a murmur of agreement about the group. Everyone started stripping down to their undergarments, and climbed into the rockpool, which, although seemed large before, was now very cramped with the five of them all huddled in, even with Rose on Finn’s lap.

“Nice and warm.” Finn remarked.

Cracking the joints in his neck, Poe blissfully sighed “Exactly what I needed.”

“What we all needed.” Added Rey.

Without missing a beat, Rose excitedly looked to Rey, “So, what was it like training with Master Skywalker? What does the Force feel like?”

Rey smiled, “I don’t know,” but seeing that this wouldn’t be enough to satisfy Rose’s awe-filled wonderment she continued, “It’s a bit like a muscle, but it’s not part of you. It’s everything else around you, and within you, and… I’m not making much sense, am I?”

Rose was still mouth agape, eyes twinkling with more questions. “Wow.”

Poe smirked at Rey, “What’s it like having a number one fan?”

Rey laughed, “I’m sure you’d know all about that, Commander Dameron.”

Another smirk, “I get by.”

Rey rolled her eyes. _That man could flirt with a rock. And probably has, with all his knowledge of Zartan Quartz._ Rey had to stop herself from giggling out loud at her own dumb joke.

“I wish I could use the Force.” Rose sighed.

“I hear you’re a talented engineer,” Rey said, trying to move the conversational focus off herself.

“Oh, I don’t know about ‘talented’. I do okay.” Rose blushed.

“You do great.” Finn said supportively, giving Rose a squeeze.

Poe pointed at Finn and Rose, “When did this happen? Didn’t you guys meet like two days ago?”

Rey quipped, “Jealous?”

Poe smirked, “He wishes.” Rey smiled and rolled her eyes again – _Did that man ever stop smirking? He’s got charisma practically leaking out of his permanently cocked eyebrows._

“On Crait,” Finn paused briefly, “shortly after she saved my life.”

Poe continued, “That’s great, really. I had a feeling about you two”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah, for sure. The first time I saw you two together, it just seemed meant to be.”

Finn smiled, “Yeah. I’m gonna be real with you guys, I’ve had a real crazy week.” A murmur shot around the circle, they all had. “You—” he looked at Poe with sincere affection sparkling in his dark eyes, “and you, Rey—” he looked at her with the same affection, paused to find his words. “You guys were my anchors on the biggest day of my life. I left the First Order, but I still didn’t know what my place was. I just knew I wanted to be with you guys. But then, going to Canto Bight, seeing all that messed up stuff… Talking to Rose—” he looked up at her now, squeezed her again. Her eyes shimmered, her smile soft. He continued, “You taught me how to do the right thing, not just for someone I cared about, but because it was the right thing to do. All three of you changed me. Forever. You make me better, and I love all of you.”

Poe and Rey smiled at Finn proudly. Rose looked into Finn’s eyes and kissed him again. Happily. Deeply. For a long moment she forgot everyone else was there, and she was leaning her whole body into the kiss, her hand firm on his torso, sliding down– _OH WAIT EVERYONE ELSE IS STILL THERE_. She broke the kiss, pulled her hand away, and just about nearly fell backwards into Rey.

“Oops, sorry.” She laughed nervously, doing nothing to stop how embarrassed she felt that she got so carried away so easily. _That did not just happen. That did not just happen._

Rey felt immediately uncomfortable. She was happy for Finn, of course, but goodness, were they going to be this affectionate this whole time? With the Resistance packed this close together? Thank goodness the Force bond had ended, or… _Nope, let’s not go there right now. Wait until you’re alone._

 

***

 

“What exactly do you propose we do? Wait for them to attack us so that we can track them back to their base?” Hux’s face was growing redder than his hair. Ben looked at him calmly; allowing Armitage to make a fool of himself was a favourite past-time of his.

“I propose the old-fashioned way. Probe the depths of space and rely on blind hope that one of the probes finds the Resistance Base. Meanwhile, we’ll put out a bounty on the– Freighter.” he nearly called it the Millennium Falcon. Although it was probably the best plan they could come up with, Ben had deliberately phrased it to dig further under Hux’s skin.

“It could be months before we find them!” It had clearly worked.

“Yes, General, it may be. But unless you have a better suggestion…”

Hux didn’t, and Ben knew that, “Well then, it seems that we’ve reached a decision.”

The other high-ranking officers all nodded silently. Hux sat back down in his chair grumpily.

Ben continued, “Very well. You are all dismissed. Thank you.”

The officers, including Hux – practically steaming – all got up and left the room, leaving Ben alone at the table. He looked at the two Praetorian guards posted at the door – both freshly promoted. Ben was sure that Hux had figured out what had happened in the throne room, he had to have. In order to believe Ben’s claim that Rey murdered Snoke and knocked Ben unconscious, Hux also had to believe that Rey had single-handedly defeated six Praetorian Guards.

Though, maybe Hux was actually that clueless. Maybe he believed that a girl capable of assassinating Snoke was able to handle the guards with ease. The uncertainty stung in his mind and sizzled with the rest of his anxieties and fears.

 _What did Snoke do all day? Did he just sit on his throne? Plot his next scheme?_ Ben chuckled to himself at the thought of Snoke, alone in his throne room, rubbing his hands together and cackling at an empty room. He cut off the chuckle, keenly and uncomfortably aware of the guards at the door. “I’m going to my quarters now.” He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to announce that but got up and hurried out of the room.

Once in his quarters, Ben pulled off his gloves, undid the buttons on his shirt and pulled it off, then stepped to his chin-up bar. _Snoke definitely never did this_ , he smirked to himself as his chin reached the bar. He extended his arms, lowering himself back down. _If only Rey could catch me in the middle of this_. The smirk left his lips and he punished himself for the fleeting thought. He pulled himself up to the bar again, trembling and huffing. _Stop thinking about her. You think she’s thinking of you right now? You fool._ He always found anger to be a strong motivator for a work-out.

Post work-out, Ben lay awake in his bed, letting both his thoughts and the Force wash over him. Questions buzzed in his mind. _What was that presence from the previous night?_ He would endeavour to find out. _What is my destiny?_ The Force had no answers for him, still. _Who am I meant to become?_

Suddenly, another familiar presence spoke with a grizzly voice, “Hi there.” Luke appeared, standing in the middle of the room. A blue wash glimmered over his form.

Ben looked at him, faking calm. “This feels familiar. You, standing over my bed.”

Luke smirked, “Funny. You really are so like your father.”

“Han Solo was weak!” Ben barked at Luke, betraying the sting of his master’s words.

“Not you, though. You’re the most powerful man in the galaxy.” Luke spoke in a mocking tone that cut Ben with every word. “Supreme Leader Ben Solo.”

“That’s not my name!”

“Yes, it is. Whether you like it or not; you cannot deny the truth that is your family.”

Ben growled and threw up his hand at Luke, shooting a short bolt of lightning out of his fingers. “Go away.”

“When did you learn how to do that?”

Ben didn’t answer, but he enjoyed the fear in Luke’s voice.

“Very well. I’ll go. But this isn’t our last goodbye.”

“Don’t count on it.”

Luke faded away, leaving Ben alone. Sizzling with rage and burning with questions still. _Will Rey ever love me as I love her?_ The Force still gave no answers. It never did.

 

***

 

The rain had returned, thankfully much milder than before. The group returned to the Falcon. As the other three started to walk up the boarding platform and Rey crossed under the sheltering surface of the Falcon, Rey stopped at the threshold between rain and cover. She turned around to face the rain and felt the Force speaking to her, calling to her. It spoke with the voice of Master Luke, echoing in her mind. _The Force passes through and connects all things, living and unliving. It surrounds us, penetrates us, binds the galaxy together. All one must do is reach out with their spirit, and the Force shall be your guide_.

Rey closed her eyes and reached out her hand, feeling the rain dripping down on her open palm. She felt her hand slowly cover with moisture, focusing in on the cold wetness, the way it felt against her warm hand. The clarity of tactility, the intimacy of the droplets gathering on her palm, the tension between skin and water. She felt it; the balance, the peace. The Force.

“Wow.” Rose watched on with an excited grin, Finn and Poe had paused next to her, quietly awestruck. Rey didn't notice them, to her there was nothing but her hand and the rain.

She could no longer feel the gathering drops, but her connection to nature through the Force told her that it hadn't stopped raining. She opened her eyes and saw: her hand, outstretched, open palm dripping with raindrops. But just above her palm, new droplets of rain descended down from the sky and stopped clear, hovering above her hand in perfect, tiny spheres.

Rey slowly turned her hand over, stretching it out towards the rain in front of her. She closed her eyes again. _Breathe. Just breathe. Reach out._

A moment passed, she felt a wave of energy pass through her body, leaving chills fizzing through her. She opened her eyes as the wave streamed out through her fingertips. Before her eyes, a path seemed to extend out in front of her, leading her away from the Falcon.

She turned back to Finn, Poe, and Rose – “I'll be back.” Then she stepped out into the path laid before her, the path where rain didn't fall.

 

***

 

“That was amazing! I can’t believe I just saw that!”

Finn grinned at Rose’s excitement, “You’re adorable.” He said to her, softly.

“Have you ever seen anything like that?”

Poe spoke up, “I’ve seen some strange things in some strange corners of the galaxy. But that? That was something else.”

They packed back into the Falcon and at the sight of the cramped Resistance, Rose sighed and whispered to Finn, “You know what I miss? Privacy.”

He whispered back “You and me both.”

Poe whispered, “The Number Three Hold is tucked behind the engie-bay, I don’t think anyone’s gone in there.”

Rose nodded at Finn, “Interesting. Well. I’ll be hanging around the engineering bay if anyone _needs_ me.” She looked at Finn with confident, pleading eyes. He raised his eyebrows, a question. She nodded, an answer.

Finn brought out a side of her that she hadn’t felt was there before. She was growing far more confident and outspoken, and she was desperate to get closer to him. There was a sense within herself that this hungry spirit had awoken all at once, and it wasn’t going to leave until she could feel him, all of him, against all of her. She felt this deep, hungry, primal urge to wrap herself around him and let herself become _his_. She was physically aching from how badly she needed him; she felt it throb in her chest, and… Elsewhere.

Finn and Poe watched as Rose walked away, wandering to the engine room. Poe raised his eyebrows at Finn, “Wow.”

“Yeah.” He gulped nervously.

Poe tried to make words again, “She, uh... Yeah. Wow.”

Finn exhaled a short laugh.

Poe looked at Finn curiously, “Have you ever...? Y'know.”

He shook his head nervously, silently.

Poe patted his shoulder encouragingly, “Well, go get ‘em, buddy.”

Finn nodded. His brain was swirling. It wasn't a lack of want, oh no. Rose had felt his _want_ when she was slowly grinding on his lap in the rock-pool. He was just very conscious of, _oh, I dunno, the entire Resistance_.

He made his way to the engineering bay and found Rose waiting at the door to the Number Three Hold. “Hey stranger.” She said with a funny smile and confident eyebrows.

He tried his hand at Poe’s cavalier sense of swagger, “Hey yourself.” – well, it was a better effort than his attempt to convince her he was ‘just routinely checking the escape pods’. He sauntered up to her, stroked her cheek, and pulled her chin towards him for a kiss. He kissed with gentle passion, she kissed with rough desire. She wrapped her arms around him, crossing her hands behind his neck. When he pulled away from the kiss and looked into her eyes, he could see that she was trembling. “Are you okay?” He asked tenderly.

She bit her lip, looked up at him, “I really need you.” He hit the button for the door to the Number Three Hold, and the doors burst open with a short blast of air. They giggled at the sudden noise and Rose excitedly tiptoed into the empty room. Finn followed her in and pressed the button to shut the door behind them.

She kissed him again, eagerly kicking off her boots, unclipping her belt and sliding off her blue slacks. She mentally cursed herself for not shaving her legs and other bits in… ever. Finn had only just finished getting rid of his boots. Her hands went to his belt, she made quick work of unclipping it and sliding his pants down his legs, breaking their kiss only to pull her top over her head as he did the same.

There they stood, once again totally naked except for their undergarments. She could see the outline of his dick pushing against his grey underwear – it wasn’t quite hard but was still as large as Rose had imagined. Rose wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss again, pushing her body hard against his, feeling his bulge grinding into her pelvis. She felt it getting harder against her and there was that hungry beast in her again, desperately demanding that she fill her aching emptiness with him. His hands settled at her hips and he pulled away from their heavy kiss, trailing more soft kisses down her neck. At the intersection of her neck and collarbone, Finn hit a spot that sent a chill through her whole body, tingling through her, ending at her dripping pussy. She whimpered. Her hands came down from behind his neck, took his hand from where it was gingerly placed at her hip and guided it urgently between her legs, into her dark grey and damp underwear.

His fingers were cold against her and it sent a shiver of shock through her body to feel a change in temperature in her most sensitive place. She nibbled his shoulder and moaned, feeling his fingers gently rubbing side to side, coldness buzzing over her clit, her pussy getting wetter and wetter the longer he touched her. Her hips moved instinctually, setting a rhythm for him to follow which – _my stars_ – he did to perfection.

She moaned again, trembling with desire, digging her rough nails into his back. Even as she grew weak with lust and her hips could no longer rock to match his rhythm, he persisted at just the right pace, with just the right pressure. His other hand gripped her hips hard, holding her steady with his incredible strength to let her go limp as his fingers curled up inside her, filling that aching emptiness, hitting just the right spot and – “fuck!”, she moaned quietly – a quick and powerful orgasm shook through her. Her body tensed. A cry of ecstasy escaped her quivering lips.

As the wave of heat ebbed through her, Finn slowed the rhythm of his fingers in her and she only stopped cumming as he pulled his hand out of her underwear and tore them down her legs. Rose backed herself up against the wall, Finn got on his knees in front of her and drew his face up to her inner-thigh. He kissed hungrily upwards – one, two, three kisses before pushing his lips to her dark bush and licking tenderly at her dripping cunt.

She cupped her hand to her mouth to stop herself from screaming. His gentle eyes looked up at her as his tongue circled her clit and their sinful gazes locked on each other. She moaned hard; her breath hot on her palm. He pulled his face away from her pussy, kissed her thigh again to wipe his chin, and stood back up. She pulled his body into her, hooked her thumbs into his underwear and pulled them down, exposing his now-hard cock, whispering lustfully as she did, “I need you, now.”

“How do you wanna do this?”

She turned around and bent over slightly, reaching behind her to grab his dick. His breath caught and he groaned, shakily forcing out words, “I’m, I’m not– going to last long. It’s, I… I haven’t. You’re my first.”

She said quickly, “I don’t need it long; I just need it _now_.”

She guided the tip of his member to her pussy. He could feel his eager pulse shaking his whole body. The head of his cock was already slick with pre-cum as it pushed into her. Shakily again, he forced himself to speak, “I’m saying I’m gonna cum quick.”

“Please, just put it in. Just cum in me, I don’t care, I need it. I need it. Please, Finn.” She whimpered every word and the desperation in her voice filled him with lust. He slowly pushed himself into her, filling her pussy with the entire length of him. She cried out with pleasure and he cupped his hand to her mouth. When he’d hilted her, he pulled slowly back out and thrust himself in again, and again, and again; pressure built in him as they found their rhythm.

With a powerful thrust he pushed himself deep into her, the angle just right that it was ever-so-slightly deeper than before. This, as well as the sensation of feeling his cock pulsing inside her, filling her with his load sent another orgasm through Rose. Her pussy tightened around his dick. Her legs tensed and shook. She let out another cry against Finn’s palm.

For a moment they stayed there, him still in her, their panting breaths hot and heavy. He removed his hand from her mouth, sliding it gently along her torso and landing it down at her hip. He pulled slowly out of her, they both got down to the ground and lay down next to each other.

Finn exhaled, Rose smiled, and at the same time they both said “Wow,” causing a fit of exhausted giggles.

Rose looked at him and spoke sweetly, softly, “You were my first too, by the way. I just had more important things to say at the time.”

Finn chuckled, “You certainly did.”

Rose continued, “I can't believe we just did that.”

Finn looked at her, “You just had sex with the Finn.”

She giggled, “ _The_ Finn.” A short pause, then, “ _my_ Finn.”

He leaned across and kissed her; tenderly, slowly. Of all their kisses, Rose would remember this as her favourite. This was a kiss of certainty, of declaration unmarked by lust. This was both of them saying as one, _I'm yours, as you are mine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao who the hell thought that the first smut chapter would be FinnRose and not Reylo? Not me, that's for sure.
> 
> Rose is seriously so fun to write. +Smut! +Stormpilot crumbs! +FinnRey crumbs! +Reylo nibbles! +Force Ghost!Luke! +Angry Hux!
> 
> Yes, I know what I'm doing with all those crumbs. More or less at least.
> 
> As I've said, I intend to treat this as a canonical bridge between VIII and IX. I believe that FinnRose is the romantic endgame for Finn (if only because they actually kiss in VIII, so it'd be weird if they suddenly dropped it altogether in IX) so, FinnRose is going to be treated as the romantic endgame. Sorry for anyone this upsets.
> 
> I do still intend to add development for FinnPoe and FinnRey, because there are drama nuggets there to be mined, but they will be dealt with in a way that defaults to FinnRose, so it's best if everyone's prepared and on the same page for that.
> 
> Connix was originally going to join the main crew in the rock-pool, but when I added Finn's monologue it became more and more apparent that she wasn't really part of this conversation. Oh well, I'll find other uses for her I'm sure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to reawaken the Force bond.
> 
> "When angels fall with broken wings  
> I can't give up, I can't give in  
> When all is lost and daylight ends  
> I'll carry you and we will live forever, forever"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning again!

Following the path where rain didn't fall, Rey came to a distant cliff-face where a short climb above was the entrance to a cave. Pulling herself into the cave, she could see that the dimmed sunlight blanketed by the grey clouds from outside didn't stretch far into the dark tunnel.

Tentatively, Rey stepped forward, called by the depths of the cave. A soft blue light glimmered, and Master Luke stood before her in his regal Jedi robes. His bearded face and brown hair looked younger than Rey knew him. “Master Skywalker.”

“Young Rey,” he paused before continuing, “You've grown strong in the Force.”

Rey smiled, “I was well-trained.”

Luke smiled for a moment, but then his face fell grim. “Ben, I fear, has also grown stronger. In the dark side.”

“He can still be saved.”

“I know. But his time is running out. The light in his soul is flickering.”

“When the Force awakened in me... It was because of him, somehow. And I felt like we were connected.”

“You formed a Force bond. They’re very rare, but I might have known you two would...” he trailed off, continued, “When one person awakens the Force in another, their souls become linked.”

Rey looked down with a small sadness. “Well, whatever it was it's ended now.”

“What?”

“I can no longer feel him. The ‘Force bond’ has ended.”

Luke looked at Rey curiously, “That's impossible. A Force bond can only end with death, and Ben Solo is alive.”

“You've seen him?” Rey sounded more desperate than she would've liked to.

“I have. He's suffering, Rey. He's darker than I could've imagined. He commanded lightning from his fingers. I've only known one person who was that strong in the dark side; Darth Sidious.”

“Why can't I feel him?”

Luke furrowed his brow. “I don't know. I didn't think it was possible, but I suppose he’s blocking your presence.”

Rey’s eyes were vulnerable, heartbroken. _No, it couldn't be. He wouldn't block her, would he?_

Luke pressed, “You care about him.” She looked at Luke with those vulnerable eyes and it was all she needed to say. He continued, “I'm so sorry.”

He faded, and Rey was alone.

 _No. It's not possible._ Ben wasn't blocking her, she knew it instinctually, it didn't feel right. Something else was keeping them from communicating, and she intended to find out what. She sat down on the cave floor, crossed her legs, closed her eyes, and let the Force take her wandering mind.

In the Force, she saw a swimming blackness. An ultimate darkness that consumed all things. In the centre, far, far away, a small twinkle of light glimmered amongst the crushing darkness like a lone star. Rey pulled herself towards the distant glimmer, swimming weightlessly through the oppressive emptiness of the dark.

As she got closer to the glow, she could see that it wasn't a star, but Ben lying down, presumably in bed. He had his shirt off – _of course_ – and was wearing a pair of loose-fitting black pyjama pants. There was a strange blur over him, a slightly opaque layer that was fuzzing her view of him. She reached out to touch him, but her hand struck against what felt like a pane of glass and a painful shock coursed through her, filling her with an icy chill. She pulled her hand away. Looking at Ben's face, Rey could see his usual vulnerable, brooding scowl.

“Ben...” she spoke softly. He didn't look at her.

She tried again, “Ben.” No acknowledgement.

Rey reached out her hand, channelling the Force through her fingers. As her hand got closer to the invisible barrier, the muscles in her hand tensed, fighting against the darkness trying to push her away. It was closing in on her hand, swallowing her like wet cement. Making contact with the barrier, an electric chill shot through her again, but she pushed back with the Force. She wouldn't give up, not for him.

She just needed him to hear her.

 

***

 

“Ben.”

The pale boy sat bolt upright in his bed and looked in the direction of the voice. Feeling her angelic presence again had tipped the scales of darkness and light within him, the other mysterious presence that had latched onto him dissolving into silence as he watched Rey's quivering hand fade into view.

He stretched out his own hand towards hers and reached out with the Force, drawing her towards him “Rey.”

As she felt his pull engulf her, the rigid iciness was replaced with burning heat. Her breath shook and she swallowed nervously as the blurred edges of Ben’s form resolved into crisp, confronting clarity. And there he stood, just inches away from her, those commanding dark eyes betraying no insight into what he felt as the boy looked at her.

If this unspoken moment could have lasted a lifetime, there would be no end to their fulfillment. There would be no chance that each’s idea of the other would melt away in place of the unfair reality; that they were still fundamentally opposed on the surface, each tempting the other to embrace a hidden part of themselves that scared them to admit was there.

Then she spoke. “You called me ‘nothing’.”

He was taken aback by her boldness as he always was, stunned speechless for a moment. Guilt chilled through him; his gaze pulled reluctantly away from her while hers stayed strong on his eyeline. Her soft brown eyes pleaded gently for him to look back at her, “I thought you would turn. Or, change. But you didn’t.”

“People often don’t.”

“Is that good enough for you, then? ‘People often don’t change, so why bother’?” He looked back at her now; the fierceness in his eyes that was intended as a warning for her instead made her fiery demeanour burn hotter. “There’s light in you, Ben. You’re running from it, but it’s who you are.”

“No. I made my choice,” he paused and looked her up and down before continuing, “and there’s more darkness in you than you want to believe.” Rey shook her head angrily, Ben pushed further, “See, there? That anger. You can’t help it. There’s something deep in you that wants to kill, to take, to rule. Join me, Rey.” He lifted his hand up to her, holding it out for her to take. Their closeness made their hands only inches away, she would barely have to reach up to touch him. “Rule with me.”

Their shared gaze was growing more intense by the second, and again he pushed, “Rule over me, even.”

His eyes were suddenly soft. Pleading. Vulnerable.

She couldn’t stand it anymore.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him fiercely. Angrily. She used her lips to hate him, and he kissed hungrily back. Pulling his body close to hers, she felt the warmth of his bare chest hard against her comparatively tiny body. His mighty arms closed around her, enveloping the girl in a powerful embrace.

 _What the fuck are you doing?? This is a mistake._ And she couldn’t stop making it. Ben broke the kiss and their eyes met, the same intensity and anger as before tempered by the filthy lust that burned through both of them. He kissed and softly bit at her neck and she growled with pleasure. He reached for her belt, quickly tugging at the buckle and with a forceful pull, the belt came off. He threw it to the ground uncaringly and undid the knot at the waist of her grey robe that was wrapped around her, throwing that to the ground with the belt when he was done with it, too.

Kissing sloppily along her collarbone, his hand moved back in front of her and gripped her inner thigh, telling her loudly where it would travel if she would let him. She grabbed his hand and tried to pull it upwards, but he smacked her hand away, pulled his face away from her chest to look at her as his other hand gripped her waist hard. With the hand that was just at her thigh, he moved it to her shoulder, and used this positioning to swing her around and push her.

He paced forward, commanding her to step backwards at the same determined pace. When she’d reached the spot he’d chosen, he pushed her again, sideways, into and against a wall that she couldn’t see. She moaned at his lustful power over her. He continued kissing her collarbone and undoing the button on her tunic, then pulled it off her. The wrap around her breasts came off, too. Finally, her torso was as bare as his.

He grabbed the wrist of her hand that he’d smacked away, pushed it up and held it against the wall, looking at her as he did so, and when he pulled his own hand away, she felt a gentle, invisible restraint holding her wrist in place.

He was using the Force to pin her against the wall.

Ben knelt down and Rey felt another invisible pull on her other wrist. It floated upwards and pinned itself against the wall as well. She moaned again.

The Force restraints weren’t tight, just enough that she could feel it there – she could fight it if she wanted to, but she didn’t. Again, his hand went to her inner thigh, gripping hard to broadcast his intention, his other hand grazing the skin on her torso up to her tits. Moaning desperately, her hips thrusted outwards, towards the hand at her leg. His fingers found one of her nipples, lightly flicking it just to make her breath shake.

She looked down at him and whispered sinfully, “Please.”

He smiled fiercely and pulled both of his hands off her, moving down to her boots. He lifted her left leg, pulled off one leather boot, then lifted her right leg and pulled off the other. Starting at her ankles, his hands slowly snaked up her legs until he reached the waistband of her light-grey pants. He pulled them down. Feeling the fabric slide down her thighs sent a wave of energy to her pussy. She felt herself dripping for him in her now-exposed black underwear. Her clit was aching for attention.

Once Ben had pulled her pants down to her ankles, Rey stepped out of them eagerly and kicked them away. His hands felt their way up her bare legs, tiny prickles of hair scratching at him slightly – Rey thanked the stars she’d at least shaved everything before she left for the Supremacy.

At last, his hand slid from her ticklish inner thigh to the wettest spot of her panties and she just about melted onto his fingers. His touch was deceptively soft, stroking slowly up and down in just the right place. She felt empty, physically _empty_ and throbbing to be filled. Suddenly, he pushed upwards just a little harder and she felt the tension of his fingers against her underwear, against her desperate pussy. Eager wetness slicked his fingers through the fabric and again Ben removed his hand from where she needed it.

He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her underwear and pulled down, without grace. He pulled them down to just above her ankles and left them there, before standing back up and quickly returning his hand to her cunt – which was shaved bald save for a short, brown patch of hair on the top. As his middle finger entered her, she moaned loud and he felt warmth drip down the back of his hand.

He whispered gruffly into her ear, “You’re so wet for me, my scavenger.”

She purred.

He returned to kissing her neck roughly as his ring finger pushed into her as well, he started slowly sliding them in and out. She moaned with every movement he made inside her. Heat and pleasure coursed through her in waves as he set the rhythm for her, her hips instinctively thrust back and forth to match his rhythm. Travelling down from her neck, his mouth reached her tits. He sucked gently on her left nipple as his fingers fucked her, adding a playful nibble here and there just to hear her moan with surprise.

“Ben, I need you to fuck me.” The coarse words left her mouth before she even heard herself say them. He pulled his fingers out of her, pulled his lips away from her breast, and grabbed her waist. As he pulled her away from the wall, she felt the Force restraints disappear. He guided her through the room that she couldn’t see and pushed her down onto the bed.

Her hands were quickly flung up and back behind her again, her wrists tied to the bedframe by invisible rope. Through moaning, shaking breath she pleaded, “Tighter.”

He smirked. The invisible restraints pulled tighter at her wrists. He pulled his loose pyjama pants down past his erect cock – _fuck it’s huge_ – and once they were at his ankles, he kicked them off. His black pubic hair was less tidy and maintained than she would have liked, but she was so desperate to feel him in her that she didn’t care in the slightest.

She spread her legs for him, presenting herself for him to use. He climbed into the bed, between her legs, and gripped behind her knees. He pushed his face into her pussy and boldly licked from her cunt to her clit, sending through Rey a hot wave of precious agony. As his tongue left her, he moved himself closer, lining his hips up with hers. He placed his hands at either side of her head. He put his cock on her pelvis, showing her how far into her he would be, then pulled his hips back, placed his dick at the entrance of her pussy, and pushed himself into her.

Immediately, she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him in tighter. She needed him all the way in her and– _oh fuck!_ As he hilted her, she came. Hard. Her breath caught in her throat – it shocked her that she’d cum so quickly, and the warm wave of her orgasm shot through her leaving buzzing chills in its wake. As the wave passed, her breath released and she cried out with pleasure, a high whimper that told him everything.

“Did you just cum for me? So quickly?” He asked, almost mockingly.

Panting, she nodded.

He brought his face to her ear and whispered, “Good girl.” She damn-near came again immediately. He drew his cock back, until he was almost out of her, and then pushed it back in, hard. He set their steady rhythm and fucked her powerfully. He grunted and groaned with pleasure with each thrust. Their bodies collided, skin against skin, breath against breath. He looked into her eyes as he fucked her, and it sent another orgasm tearing through her.

She had never been able to make herself cum this quickly and this easily, but his dick, his body felt made for her. The pleasure was so intense and overwhelming, she felt a hot tear dripping down her cheek.

Slowing his rhythm and gentling his thrust, he brought his lips to her ear again and whispered, “Where do you want my cum?”

To which she quickly replied, “In my mouth.”

He pulled himself suddenly out of her, climbed out of the bed and stood on the floor, bringing his cock up to her hot lips. The restraint for her hand closest to him faded away and she eagerly grabbed his member and took the tip into her mouth. She could taste herself on him, and it drove her into a frenzy.

She needed his cum. She needed to please him. She needed to become his.

Licking a soft circle on the tip of his dick, Rey jacked him off with her free hand, then closed her lips around it and sucked needily. Bobbing her head rhythmically to match her hand, she heard him groan and he gently gripped her hair, cumming as he did. She swallowed and kept desperately sucking until every drop of him was spent.

She ignored the awful feel of it in her throat, as well as the questionable taste. It was _his_ , and she’d made it happen, and she felt so much power because of it.

Ben panted in the wake of his orgasm and only barely collected enough breath to mutter the words “Good girl” once again, drawing a moaning sigh from Rey as her hurting pussy twitched in response to his commanding words.

 

***

 

Within a blink, Rey found herself back in the cave. She was still fully naked, her clothes strewn around her haphazardly, as he had left them. She was covered in sweat and her face was flushed, her hair a tangled mess that couldn’t be mistaken for anything but sex.

Outside the cave, the rain had stopped, and the sun was setting, turning the sky a rich pink. Rey put her underwear back on, then climbed back down the cliff, hovering the rest of her clothes behind her with the Force. Once on the rockpools again, she found one to quickly soak in to wash the scent of sex off her.

 _I can’t believe that just happened. Did that just happen? There’s no way. There’s no way that just happened. Except, yes it did. It definitely did. Fuck._ Rey pulled her knees against her chest, still feeling sore between her legs from how well her enemy had fucked her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank god I reached the Reylo smut. The anticipation was killing me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> General Organa gives the core group an important mission, giving them a chance to talk a bit more intimately.

Rey, soaking in a rock pool to wash away the strong scent of sex on her, reflected on how her dynamic with Ben had once again grown intensely more complicated than the last time they’d seen each other. It seemed that their pattern of interaction was to start in whatever the status quo was, then, in a single moment, completely change everything forever. _Fucking hell_ , Rey’s thoughts barked at her, _can you even imagine how awkward it’s going to be trying to fight each other now?_ She laughed in absurd self-defeat.

She pictured the First Order arriving on Septril V, guns blazing; Ben, the Supreme Leader, leading a charge of Stormtroopers with his crackling, red lightsaber; locking eyes with her from across the battlefield and them sprinting towards each other, sabers drawn, ready to duel, and colliding in a kiss to end all kisses. Soldiers on both sides looking on in horror and confusion. Her absurd laughter cut short as a shot of a strange, empty sadness rang through her.

 _Stupid. So stupid._ Her angry mind punished herself. After all her self-strong rejection of him, refusing to join him while he was still insistent on amplifying such a terrible part of himself, she felt so weak for giving in to the lust that had taken over her so powerfully. Even now, thinking of him made her squeeze her thighs with unwelcome arousal, and she was seething with self-loathing that he made her lose control of herself like that.

 _That cannot happen again. Don’t you dare kiss that boy again._ All the power that she had felt, wrapped in those powerful arms, feeling her control over him, even with him dominating her so completely; all that power that was burning in her just minutes ago was leaking from her now, leaving cold shame in its wake.

Returning to the Falcon, she found Poe Finn-and-Rose-less sitting at the Holochess table with some other Resistance soldiers. The ambience was frustrated and quiet.

She walked up to Poe, an inquisitive look on her face. Poe replied quickly, “They're busy.”

 _Oh_. “Oh.”

“Oh indeed. How was...” he tried to mime something with his hands that Rey could only translate because of contextual assumption, “...Jedi stuff?”

Rey swallowed nervously. “Yeah, y'know. Mystical.”

Poe nodded.

 _For a guy with so much charisma you'd think he'd be less awkward_. Rey continued, hoping she could give Poe a conversational hook to latch on to, “I spoke with Master Skywalker. Apparently, Ben's getting stronger.”

“Ben?”

 _Krif_. “Ren. Kylo... Ren.”

Poe nodded with understanding.

Rey looked around at the Resistance soldiers, all looking tired and dejected. She looked back at Poe, “What are we doing for food?”

“We don’t know, but I don’t really feel like Porg.”

Rey chuckled.

Finally, Finn and Rose returned. They looked messy. Rey and Poe smiled at them, saying at the same time, “Hi,” then casting a look at each other before looking quickly back at the other two.

Rose’s lips were stuck in a giddy, cheeky grin. Finn bore an awkward smile. They, too, both spoke simultaneously, “Hi.” Looking at each other and smiling more, then back at Poe and Rey.

Mercifully, Leia approached the group. “You four, I was hoping I could get your help on an important mission.”

“Danger level?” Poe asked with an eyebrow raise.

“Unclear, but potentially high. I need a small crew to take the Falcon somewhere nearby, stock up on food, medicine, and fuel – lots of it – and bring her back. You guys seem like a good team.” They all looked around at each other with a smile of comradery. Leia continued, “Do you think you can do that?”

Poe gave her a reassuring smile, “I’m sure we can handle it.” He looked at the other three, “You guys in?” They all nodded. “Good. We can leave right away.”

“Very well, thank you.” She turned from the group and addressed the rest of the soldiers, “Attention, Resistance: I know you’re all exhausted and hungry, but I need everyone to clear out. I’m sending a small team to gather supplies; they’ll be back with food.”

A grumble of excitement about the seemingly distant concept of food rippled around the Falcon and everyone – eagerly, but sluggishly – cleared out. Poe, Finn, Rose, Rey, Leia, and BB-8 remained. Leia gave them a smile and a wink, “Good luck. The Resistance is counting on you.” The four gave her a smile back, then Leia left the ship.

Poe looked at Rey, “You’ve flown this thing before, right?”

Rey was not particularly keen on spending potentially hours in the cockpit with Poe, she looked to Finn “Finn’s a great co-pilot.” _Not very subtle_.

Poe looked to Finn, “I can certainly attest to that.” He stood up, stretching for a beat, then patting Finn on the shoulder and walking towards the cockpit. “Come on, buddy. Let’s fly this bucket of bolts.”

Finn smiled and followed Poe. Rose and Rey looked at each other, Rose still wearing her excited grin. She sat next to Rey; Rey smiled coyly and spoke in a gossipy tone that she’d never really used before, “So, you and Finn?”

Rose’s grin grew. She whispered excitedly, “We just had sex!”

Rey feigned surprise, whispering back “No way!”

“I know!”

“What was it like?”

“Oh, just… Amazing. He was amazing. Can I talk details?”

“Please do.”

Rey had never really had ‘girl talk’ and was excited to finally get what the fuss was about. Rose continued, “So first we were kissing. Just like, super-hot kissing. Y’know, hands were… everywhere. And we were pulling off each other’s clothes—”

Rey essentially had second-hand sex with Finn. It made her slightly uncomfortable how much it just made hear body yearn more for Ben.

 

***

 

In the cockpit of the Falcon, Poe took great delight in flicking all those ancient switches, feeling the purr of the engine shuddering around him, the blue flicker of hyperspace lighting up his grinning face. This was a hell of a ship. This ship has seen some serious history. What Poe would've given to be present in Han Solo's legendary Kessel Run – _12.8998 parsecs_!!

He looked across at his co-pilot, who was clearly not on this planet. “Finn. You right there, buddy?”

Finn snapped out of it, looking to Poe with a smile, “Yeah, I'm real good.”

Poe chuckled. “She's done a number on you. That's good.”

Finn turned around to check that the door between the cockpit and the rest of the ship was closed, then back to Poe. “It was wild, man.”

Poe laughed, “I can tell. It's good to see.”

Finn glowed with masculine pride.

Poe continued, “Y'know, it's funny. When I first met you, I kinda thought... I dunno.”

“What?” Finn looked at Poe, daring him to continue.

“I thought we had something going on. I mean, obviously I was wrong, but...”

“Eh...” Finn paused, gathered words, continued. “You weren't totally wrong.”

“Oh?”

Finn chuckled, stammered out, “Not like, I mean... There was certainly _something_.”

“Just a little bit of something.”

“Exactly!”

“Yeah, just like, really good chemistry.”

“Exactly. Chemistry. Totally.”

A pause hovered between them that Poe eagerly closed, “But, I mean, I kinda have that with everyone."

“You definitely do. I almost thought you were hitting on Rey before!”

Poe laughed heartily. “Not quite my type.”

“I don't think you're quite hers either.” Finn said, starting to laugh as well.

A wave of howling laughter erupted from both of them.

 

***

 

“I literally was just cumming the entire time. It was like I had no control over myself. I've literally never been like this before, but Finn just...” she playfully shivered.

Rey countered, “He awoke something in you.”

Rose gave Rey a curious look. “Exactly.”

Rey avoided Rose's gaze, which she immediately knew was a faulty instinct.

“So, have you ever done it?”

Rey looked back at her, paused for a moment. _What should I say? This pause has gone on for too long for it to be no_ — “Yeah. Only once, though.” _This was a mistake. Girl talk was a bad idea_.

Then, the inevitable question. The one Rey was dreading, yet still unprepared for. “Who was he?”

Another pause while Rey thought of something acceptable to say. _I don't think ‘the Supreme Leader of the First Order and also it happened about an hour ago' would be an acceptable response_.

Rose added, “You don't have to say, I'm just having fun. You can tell me anything though, I mean, we're basically best friends now, right?”

“Of course! Yeah. No, uh, yeah. He was just... some guy. Y'know?”

Rey's vagueness did nothing to dispel Rose's enthusiasm, “Yeah! Yeah. Sure. _How was it_?”

Rey smiled, feeling the screws in herself loosening. “It wasn't what I was expecting, but I loved it. I can't... I _couldn't_ stop thinking about it. Y'know, after.”

“Totally.”

“I’d never felt any kind of attraction that powerful, before him. So when we finally... y'know. It was like magic. We just... collided. And we were both just following instinct alone.”

“Wow. That must've been something.”

“It was. I've never felt anything like it.”

Rose smiled at Rey, and added with a spark of sincere excitement “Awh, Rey! I’m so glad we can talk about stuff like this.”

Rey returned a smile, “Me too.”

Rose quickly leaned across to Rey and wrapped her arms around her, squeezing with total adoration. Rey's arms came up to hold onto Rose's friendly embrace.

Rose’s smile scrunched up, she furrowed her brow, considering something. Then, “I have to confess something.” Rey raised her eyebrows, _I'm listening_. Rose continued, “I thought Finn had a crush on you. Y'know, before.” She looked up at Rey to see her reaction, but Rey's face gave away nothing.

Keeping her face free of surprise, Rey responded, “I was worried he did, too. Seeing you two together makes me so happy to know I was wrong. You two are really sweet.”

Rose spoke with a sweet smile, “I'm glad we met.” The two girls were still wrapped in a sideways hug, and both of them would've been content to never move from it.

 

***

 

“You should've seen it, Poe. I've never seen that much of the color gold.”

“Rich people are something else.” Poe said with his trademark smirk.

BB-8 squawked in bleeps and bloops.

Poe turned to his droid with a confused and surprised look, “The drunk Grundle did what?”

<Beebleeebleoop>

Finn chuckled, “I was not there for that.”

BB-8 suddenly seemed to snap to attention, his droid-speak getting short and skittish – he was receiving a transmission.

“What are you getting buddy?”

<BeeEepbeeop>

“Can you unscramble it?”

<Beaaabloob>

“Okay Beebee, you work on that. We're almost at our pit stop.”

“Which is?”

“Severelev. It's basically a planet-wide gas station.”

“As long as we can get some food there, I'm good.”

“As long as you're loose with what you mean by ‘food', we're good. Lots of instant-bread.”

“Oh, great. Instant-bread. My favourite.” Finn said dryly.

The mere thought of instant-bread brought him unpleasantly back to basic training; those awful, protein-filled meals that left him full but unsatisfied every day before a full day of extensive exercise. He was saddened for a moment, thinking about how many of his fellow troopers still know nothing outside the rigid life of a nameless soldier.

Although, he supposed, he technically still is a soldier, just for the other side now. But there was a small, but distinct difference between fighting for the First Order and fighting for the Resistance: The Resistance cares about its soldiers. Fallen soldiers were mourned. Every sacrifice is felt and is treated as a significant loss. Stormtroopers were just another tool for the First Order to use in the cold pursuit of galactic control, each abducted soldier just another nameless cog in the machine of ultimate destruction.

Finn wouldn't just fight to burn the First Order down, no; destruction is the First Order's game. For the Resistance, he would fight to liberate the nameless, and together they would bring down not just the First Order, but the mere concept of the senseless violence and oppression for which they so mercilessly fought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Rose as best gal-pals is such a cute dynamic. So so fun. I'm definitely going to try to give those two as many adventures as I can contrive.
> 
> *There's* some of that FinnPoe and FinnRey (and even a bit of ReyPoe, lol) stuff I was referring to a couple of chapter's notes ago. It's addressed, but in a way that defaults to FinnRose.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BB-8, Finn, Rey, Rose, and Poe go on a special mission for the Resistance.

Severelev was a foul, smoggy place. It seemed like the whole dwarf-planet was made up of shady back-alleyways where equally-shady dealings occurred. This certainly appeared like a planet where one might find a group of intergalactic fugitives looking to buy supplies in bulk for a secret army.

As the Falcon landed in a cramped parking block and opened the ramp, Rey was immediately hit with the stench of smog. The air felt both shallow and thick to breathe. Poe turned to the group of them and gently ordered, “Finn, you can come with me to get the supplies.”

<Beeohbee?>

“Yeah Beebee, you too.”

<Ohwheeew>

“Girls, you can stay on the Falcon.”

Rey spoke fiercer than she’d intended, “We can handle ourselves out there.”

“I’m sure you can. Which is why you need to make sure our only means of escape doesn’t get jacked. I dunno if you noticed, but this place ain’t exactly Canto Bight.”

Finn looked around, faintly grimacing at the stale smell of the air, “You can say that again. You sure I have to come with? No offense, Poe.”

“None taken. Look, I’m not fussy, I just need someone to have my back.”

Finn could see that neither his girlfriend nor his friend were at all keen on walking around this sweaty planet, so he said with a sigh, “Alright, alright. I’ll come. But let’s make this quick.”

“Oh, I intend to. This place smells like a Hutt’s armpit. I’ve programmed the coms to talk to BB-8, so if you have any trouble you can talk to him.”

<Beoooob>

The precocious droid never failed to make Rey smile.

Poe, Finn, and BB-8 walked away from the Falcon, leaving Rey and Rose with the ship that Rey finally thought looked comparatively luxurious to the other garbage ships lying around the parking block. Rey turned to Rose, “Come on, let’s go back inside and shut the door.”

“I know we’re meant to be watching the Falcon but now I need a shower, so, I’ll be doing that.”

“I don’t think it’ll help.” Rey said with a joking smile.

Rose chuckled as she walked up the ramp behind Rey. Rey pressed the button inside the ship to close the ramp and it rose back up into the belly of the ship.

Some time later, Rey and Rose had both ducked through the shower and were sitting at the deactivated Holochess console, both with wet hair. Rey felt as though her hair hadn’t been fully dry in at least a day, and even before that it wasn’t like Ach-To had kept it particularly dry. Rey looked to Rose, “So how’d you meet Finn anyway?”

“He tried to escape while on my watch.”

“Really? He tried to desert?”

“He was trying to protect you. He wanted to take the Binary Beacon somewhere safe.”

Rey smiled, “Of course he did.”

Rose returned the smile, adding her own question, “How did _you_ meet Finn?”

“Now that’s a complicated one. Uhm… Okay, so… BB-8 was on Jakku, my home-planet. On a mission. He ran into me and I was helping him get around Neema Out-post, when he spotted Finn wearing Poe’s jacket – well, now Finn’s jacket. So, assuming Finn stole it, I chased him and…” Rey smiled cheekily, “…Gave him a bit of a hard time about it before he started telling me why he had it.”

She chuckled to herself, “He actually told me he was a Resistance fighter – Total lie.” The girls laughed.

Rose added between laughs, “He certainly knows how to make a first impression.”

That sent another wave of laughter through them that didn’t subside – until the Falcon rumbled with the sudden and loud impact of laser-fire.

The rumbling ceased and the two girls fell deathly silent.

Rose, afraid, “What was that? Did we get shot at??”

Rey got up and ran to the cock-pit, Rose quickly followed.

Looking out the window, Rey spotted a small ship hovering a short distance away. The ship was barely larger than a speeder and looked like more of a piece of junk than the Falcon. The junk ship fired again, sending two blue bolts hurtling towards the Falcon. _BOOM_!! Another rumble shook the ship on impact, an alarm whooped loudly in the cockpit and the console lit up like a Bespin disco. Rose looked as alarmed as the ship, “That’s not good!”

Rey barked at her, “Are you better at shooting or flying?!”

“Neither!”

“Get in the turret, we need to lose this guy. Fast.”

“On it!” And with that, Rose turned and ran through the hallway and dropped herself down into the turret, strapping in as the ship shuddered with the rusty purr of the engine and the old ship lifted off the ground.

Rey pressed the coms button, zooming away from the dirty parking block, “Poe, come in.”

A fizz of static, then, “I copy. What’s trouble?”

“Someone’s after the Falcon. The First Order must have a bounty on it or something.”

“I thought they might. See how quick you can lose them. We should be back at the rendezvous in 15.”

“They’re chasing. We’ll see if we can shake them.”

Rey disengaged the coms and clumsily placed the headset over her ears, taking a hard steer to the right, then again sharp to the left. She manoeuvred extremely and randomly, doing anything to give their tail a surprise. As the two ships ascended higher and higher, they cut through the light air-traffic.

“Rey, you gotta get us away from the traffic, I can’t get a clear shot.”

“Okay, I’m on it.”

Rey dove the ship back down, keeping it low to the buildings, and it sparked an idea.

She spoke into the mouthpiece, “Rose, keep firing, but I’m going to try to give you a better opening. When I say ‘now’, you absolutely shoot. Got it?”

“Okay, got it.” Rose responded quickly, firing a flurry of missed shots that crashed into buildings which already looked somewhat decrepit. Rose cringed watching her haphazard shots land, “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!”

Rey pulled up the steering gear again, sending the Falcon upwards with a dangerous-sounding shiver of the engine. She heard Rose’s voice urgently through the headset again, “Do not go back into the traffic, I won’t be able to hit our guy!”

“I’m not going back into the traffic!”

“Okay, I’m sorry! I’m not good at shooting! Sorry!”

Rey had a laser-focus on the console, finding and flicking the switches she needed to hit in a symphony of clicks – and with her hands steady on the steering gear, the engine coughed out of action. “Get ready!”

The Falcon slowed its flight forward to a halt, the nose tipped downwards. Rey’s hands sprung back up to the next switches she needed, click-click-click-clack – and the engine spluttered back to life as she aimed the steering gear sharply down.

The ship on their tail was unstoppably hurtling towards them, and even as it tried to suddenly steer away, as the Falcon curved back upwards upside-down, Rose watched the aiming computer’s crosshair collide with the other ship’s dot. Through her headset, she heard her friend bark urgently, “Now! Now! Now!”, and Rose squeezed the bulky trigger, sending a swarm of red laser-fire that crashed through the other ship, sending it hurtling to the ground.

“Yeah!” Rose cheered for herself. She had fully expected not to hit that shot.

“Nice work.” Rey said cheerily, twisting the steering gear to take the ship back around.

Rey smiled watching Rose excitedly recount the girls’ taste of action while the ship zipped through hyperspace to an eager Finn and a falsely eager Poe, but she couldn’t help but feel like something was still wrong.

And something was.

 

***

 

“We got lucky.”

“No, General Hux, they got desperate. As I knew they would.”

Hux and Kylo argued in the corridor just outside Kylo’s room. Kylo was still dressed to sleep, Hux still wore his uniform. The pale ginger looked away from the raven-haired boy in what could almost be attributed to shame. Kylo pushed further, “You would do better not to question your leader, in the future.”

Hux struck back, “You certainly inspired great loyalty with your plan based entirely on- oh, what did you call it? _Blind hope_?”

Kylo didn’t respond to this, he knew that his silence would make Hux continue to boil over. His uncharacteristically calm response was not one he expected.

“You’re _tooling_ with me.”

“I’m what?”

“Tooling with me. Trying to wind me up. It won’t work.”

“Won’t it now?”

Hux’s face continued to redden, giving himself away. He turned and stormed off, muttering grumpily under his breath. Kylo smirked to himself and stepped back into his quarters.

Looking at his bed, he could now see Rey lying in it, asleep. Cautiously, he approached the girl. He wasn't sure how he was meant to respond to this scenario, standing over her as she peacefully slept. Should he dare join her? Wrap his arms around her? Or, perhaps he should leave her be. She stirred, her eyes opening gently. Her head turned slightly; she was registering him in her peripherals.

An unshakeable protectiveness washed over him, and he spoke softly, “Sleep, Rey. It's okay.”

She exhaled slowly and spoke calmly, whispering, “It can't happen again.” An uncomfortable pause hung between them. “Do you understand?”

“If that's what you wish.” He took a moment to consider if he should continue with the words that came next, “Can I get back in my own bed, at least?”

She didn't respond.

“Please?”

“Fine. But it means nothing.”

He carefully climbed into bed, feeling her warmth next to him, even lying inches apart and refusing to let himself touch her. Her breath quivered slightly, he tried not to hear it.

“Do you ever wear a shirt when you're alone?”

He smirked. “I'm not alone though, am I?”

 _Goddamn it._ How was he so good at whispering just the right things to destroy her so completely? She whispered fiercely, “Stop it.”

“What?”

“You know what.”

He did.

She whispered again, “Things won't change. Not unless you let the light in.”

“Don't.” That was more vulnerable than he intended. He continued, trying to speak as fiercely as her. “Don't lecture me about the light and the dark like you've mastered it yourself.”

“I haven't.”

He didn't expect that, and the impulse to defensively lash out fell away.

Rey continued calmly in a nurturing tone, “I just try to follow the light, wherever I can. It's not a decision you make once, it's a struggle. Every day. How bad I want... to just follow that wicked voice in me, tempting me to the dark, to power, to revenge. It's a choice you have to keep making. And every time you choose the light is a victory.”

“I feel like the light is leaving me. Like the choice is already made for me.”

She shifted her hips under the covers, moving closer to him, pushing herself lightly against him. “It's not.”

“Rey, I thought you said it wouldn't happen again.”

“Nothing's happening.” She whispered breathily. If his cock grew any harder, it would start to press against her butt. Thinking about that fact didn't help – “Nothing's happening.” And with that, she shifted her hips forward, away from him.

“How do I choose the light?” He asked softly, “What would I have to do?”

“Leave the First Order. Come to me.”

“And join the Resistance?” Tension hung in the air between his words. He continued, “When will you learn, Rey? It's not any one army that's immoral, it's the whole endless war.”

“The Resistance fights for good, to free the innocent, to live in a galaxy without fear.”

“They still fight.”

Rey turned to face him, it alarmed her for a moment to see his face so close to hers. “We fight because the First Order gives us no choice of response.”

“Tell yourself that, every time every time you kill an unnamed Stormtrooper who was taken from a family they'll never know.”

“You're the Supreme Leader. Every new Stormtrooper is your fault.”

“And I intend to rectify that. But your precious morality is not so absolute, is it?”

She smiled wisely. “You make a half-good philosopher when you're trying to avoid criticism.” He looked away from her. She continued, “Leave the First Order. Join the Resistance. Snoke is dead now, he can't tell you what to do anymore.”

Looking back at her, he said with a snarl, “Neither can you.”

Her smile dropped and he was struck by guilt. She spoke without her normal charm, her emotional walls crumbling down. “Ben, please.”

He looked at her lips, full and pouting. He looked at her eyes, gentle and pleading.

She repeated, “Please.”

Slowly, he moved his face towards hers. He put his hand on her hip, testing to see if she'd swat him away. She didn't. She closed her eyes and moved her face towards his, their lips meeting in a kiss that burned through them like the warmest, brightest fire on the coldest, darkest night.

And then she pulled away from him, putting her hand on his chest and whispering, “Nothing's happening.”

He looked at her with those dark, pained eyes, hungry with desire. He said nothing.

She disappeared right in front of him.

Coming back to her senses on the Falcon, Rey was immediately thankful that Poe, Finn, and Rose were all elsewhere in the ship. The idea of one of them seeing Ben lying next to her, seemingly floating in mid-air. Kissing her. She was mortified just thinking of it.

What would they think? And then, other questions swarmed her mind.

Why did she have to fall for that man so hopelessly?

Why did he have to be _that_ man?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I get a "woohoo!" for that short action sequence?! See, I can write more than just fluff and smut.
> 
> Poe and Rey are such a funny dynamic to me, it seems immediately obvious that they would be exactly like this; both head-strong and stubbornly believing that they're the best person for the job, both believing that the other is over-estimating their ability. I love it.
> 
> Rey and Rose talking about Finn starting both of their relationships out on a lie was a nice, fun bit of fluff. I love finding small links between characters that haven't been fully explored yet.
> 
> So, this week (as of me writing this, not as of me publishing this) the Journey to TROS book schedule was announced, and I think I'm about to collide with upcoming canon in a couple of places. This was inevitable, and I intend to duck around canon materials when I can, dependent on what makes the most sense for this story; I like the idea of having a fanfiction that functions as a speculative EU novella. All this to say, this changes nothing*.
> 
> *except for small tweaks and edits that may or may not happen depending on how easy it is for me to make this story abide by canon.


End file.
